The Male Factor

So I was chosen by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group to join their "Blogging for Books" program. Basically they'll send me some advance copies of books that I can read and review here. I thought it would be a fun way to get some books and read some things that I might not usually pick up.

The first book I read was called "The Male Factor" written by Shaunti Feldhahn. I had heard of Shaunti Feldhahn through Simple Mom's 2009 book club - the book "For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men" has been on my reading list all year.

This new book investigates the inner thoughts of men and their attitudes toward women in the workplace. Now, I am 4 years removed from having any sort of "workplace," and the only male I deal with all day can be sent to time out if he starts to act out! So why would I care about this book? I do plan on returning to school then work at some point, so I may as well get some advantage in dealing with them. And I thought there would be some aspects that could apply to personal interactions as well.

One of my friends from my former workplace and I used to talk about how "perception IS reality." In other words, it doesn't matter what you say and do, it matters how others comprehend what you say & do. That concept is the essence of what this book tries to explain. Three points in the book really drove that home for me. First, she explains that when a woman asks for help or clarification on a task, men see it as "she couldn't figure it out." A second point is that when women ask "why" questions, it directly challenges a man's judgment, belittling them in a way. (a better approach is "help me understand how....").

And the last idea that really struck me hit closest to home, working women with families. While the men didn't begrudge a woman asking for flextime or reduced hours, they expected her to understand that they could not be considered "equal." In fact, Ms. Feldhahn attributed some of the discrepancy in male/female wages for the same job to this inequality. We may have the same title, but he works late hours and on weekends so his compensation is higher. She acknowledges the inherent unfairness and shares the hope that "over time, 'equality' will mean the demonstration of equal capability, not equal contributions..or equal time." (p194)

I enjoyed reading this book and learned some new things about that mysterious male brain. While I initially had some skepticism about what she would say (I thought there would be suggestions to alter yourself to fit into the male design) but at every turn she recommended practices that could be applicable to men as well as women, such as respecting co-workers or managing the perceptions of others.

You can purchase "The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace" at amazon.com or through the Random House website.

However, I have an extra copy to give away! If you are interested, please leave a comment on the blog or the Facebook note before 12:01am Jan 16 and I will draw a winner later that day.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.